New Years irresolution

1 January, 2009

I’m not making any new years resolutions this year. Traditions can be a great for instance buying a Christmas tree is a great way of celebrating the commercial nature of our mid winter festival but I find the tradition of making a new years resolution merely a prelude to a pang of disappointment and self loathing somewhere around the end of the month if I exceed expectations or the end of the first week if I’m being more realistic.

Anyway I have bigger things to worry about this new year as in only a few short months I shall be heading through the big three O. This is a fate I’m sharing with one Ariane Sherine.You know Ariane the atheist bus conductress. She captures the horror in far more eloquent prose than our own poor power to add or subtract can muster. Although as one of her commentators points out she has the benefit of being “smart, funny and gorgeous” for the rest of us pseudo intellectual, humorless, mirror crackers who lack her gifts we have appearances on Jeremy Kyle to look forward to. “Yes Jeremy I know I didn’t do it with my gf’s sis. I don’t care about no lie detector cause I know I …..”

Oh and I should mention it even though it’s not a new years resolution but if I make it public the added stress and humiliation of failure will provide great encouragement to success: I’m doing the Bath Half Marathon, 13.1 miles of unremitting joy. At least that’s what it said on the blurb. I’ve done jogs, runs, waddles, up to five miles so far and unremitting joy is not how I would describe it but hell I’ve paid the money now. Piss takers will be summarily executed.

I want to do it in 2hrs 48 minutes because it’s an excellent time. OK its an excellent time for an entire marathon and not the half but if I let it slip any further I risk the finish being packed away as the cut off is 3 hrs. Anyway I hope your 2009 has more unremitting joy than I will have on the 15th March.

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